‘Hawaii Five-O’ Recap: ‘Akanahe’

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h50-01Last week, the show’s writers literally got cute when the 5-0 men were stuck caring for an infant, “Three Men and a Baby” style. This week’s episode, “Akanahe,” also played off a successful movie formula with McG and new SWAT captain Lou Grover butting heads “Lethal Weapon” style. Or was it more “Crimson Tide?” Honestly, it doesn’t really matter because the attempt to further introduce Chi McBride’s Captain Grover character to the show’s audience was not a successful one. Too bad, because both Chi McBride and Alex O’Loughlin are great actors, and the episode could have been a good one if not for the lazy writing.

Here’s this week’s look at The Good, The Bad and The Weird.

The Good

  • Kono’s back! Kind of. Okay, not really. I hate being teased.

Yep, just that for The Good this week. I told you I didn’t like this episode.

The Bad

  • How surprising. A woman says she’s so happy after receiving a magnificent diamond necklace. Any feminists out there want to tackle this one? Oh yeah, and never mind what your Yakuza boss husband probably had to do in order to get the money to pay for that necklace. I guess it doesn’t matter as long as you get your bling.
  • The 5-0 team dressed as ninjas? Really?
  • Kono seemed really angry with the Yakuza boss when she thought Adam was dead. Just buy her a diamond necklace. I’m sure she’ll calm down immediately.
  • So Adam apparently devises this genius, elaborate plan to fake his death in order to protect Kono, the woman he loves. Of course Kono decides to throw all that planning and good intentions away by insisting on looking for him, therefore leading herself right into the trouble Adam was trying to save her from. Women! Right?
  • Chin says his goodbyes to Kono but then leaves her in the dark alley, dressed as a ninja, no less. I know she’s dedicated to her new mission to find Adam (who actually doesn’t want to be found in order to… oh, never mind) but couldn’t Chin at least have given her a ride to her hotel or something? I know the scene made for a dramatic farewell, but how’s she going to get around town dressed as a ninja? I’m sure even people in Japan will think it’s weird to walk around like a ninja.
  • I thought Nick Jonas was the only pop star to make a guest appearance in this episode, but that guy that Grover’s daughter was playing online nookie with looked a lot like Drake. “I got my eyes on you…”
  • When McG and Grover shoot at the car driving away from them, what are they aiming at? Obviously not the carriage because the kid they were trying to protect was in the car and they wouldn’t want to harm him, so I’m guessing the tires. Now are we supposed to believe that a SWAT captain and a 5-0 Commander who used to be a Navy SEAL couldn’t hit a car’s tires when it’s driving in a straight line just about 50 feet away?
  • Sending three guys with automatic weapons to kidnap a young Internet hacking punk seems like a little overkill, don’t you think? Of course, if they hadn’t arrived packing, there wouldn’t have been that cool little shootout. Ah, the fun we have when we write around a scene without actually thinking it through.
  • You’re going to chase after a car with a horse? Really. Horses top out at about 50 mph, and that car already had a few seconds head start on you. Yes, I know that McG planned to cut them off, but there’s no way he could have known that when he came up with the plan. I am literally shaking my head at this point in the episode.
  • Okay, let’s talk about Nick Jonas. The former pop star makes a guest appearance as a diabolical genius named Ian Wright with a gift for internet hacking. He’s horrible. Absolutely horrible. The Ian Wright character has great potential, especially when it was revealed that he escaped and could possibly become a recurring baddie for the 5-0 gang. But Jonas has no business playing him. His monotone line delivery instills no sense of fear or intimidation, and his facial expressions make you think of a punk smart-ass kid instead of a famous terrorist. It’s no wonder McG smacked him a few times in the face. Had a real actor been cast in that role, the transformation the character makes from being a scared, helpless victim to the big reveal of being a devious mastermind would have been much more effective. Now I’m not asking for a Kevin Spacey as Keyser Soze or Edward Norton in “Primal Fear” level performance, but the Ian Wright character could have been so much better played by another actor.
  • And for someone who’s supposed to be such a genius, I’m not sure if he can tell time correctly. Or maybe it’s the 5-0 team who couldn’t figure out the math. The flight he hijacked was already well on its way from LAX to Honolulu, which is about a five-hour flight. He demands to be flown to Pago Pago and will release control of that flight only after he lands safely. The flight from Honolulu to Pago Pago is also about five hours. I’m thinking that by the time he lands in Pago Pago and is allowed to turn electrical devices back on, that LAX flight has already splashed into the ocean from lack of fuel.
  • You have a police escort to the boarding gate where you’re basically leaving them helpless until you arrive in Pago Pago. Do you really need a boarding pass to get on the plane? Wow, Hawaiian Airlines is a lot tougher than I thought.
  • And speaking of that plane to Pago Pago, 5-0 knew that Catherine was working on finding the source computer that was hacking the LAX flight and was just minutes away from potentially solving the case. I’m sure that the police could have stalled that flight for just a few minutes while she worked on finding that computer and uploading that jamming signal. A few minutes really wouldn’t have altered Ian’s plans in any way.

Akanahe (Reluctant Partners)The Weird

  • The fact that this episode was so incredibly bad compared to what we’ve seen so far this season. The writing in “Akanahe” is very reminiscent of the sloppy work we saw too frequently in Season 3. Season 4 has been great thus far, but this episode was one of the worst of the series. I sincerely hope the quality of the remainder of the season doesn’t follow suit.
  • Oh and one more thing…D anno was nowhere to be seen this episode, and yet, I didn’t miss him. Interesting. Also, I believe this is the first time he hasn’t appeared in an episode. I wonder what happened. Maybe he was giving the Hawaii food scene a second chance at new restaurants like Highway Inn or Pig and the Lady.