Photo By Jem Baluscang

Broke da mouth: Who makes da best chocolate-covered coffee bean?

And will dis be da next chocolate-covered macadamia nut?
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Will any Hawaii candy ever supplant da popularity of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts?

I think it's kinda interesting that chocolate-covered macadamia nuts is da gift local people buy for oddah people, but I hardly ever see local people buying it for themselves.

Dis chick I know, Nicole Satsuma, when she wuz small, her family used to always receive boxes of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts around da holiday season. She always felt left out cuz she HATED mac nuts. So everybody else in her family would enjoy these goodies, but her mom wouldn't let her have any, cuz her mom said she can't just eat da chocolate and leave da nuts. 

Probably most girls would've just listened to their mama. But not Nicole. She wuz determined for eat that chocolate so what she would do is she would suck off allll da chocolate ... and feed her grandpa Gordon Chock all da nuts that she spit out. "No good waste," he would say. "There were no nuts left behind," Nicole wuz quick for point out to her mom.

I thought this story wuz incredibly gross, but also very touching and relatable. Cuz it showed how much da grandpa loved his granddaughter. And plus das local style too. Local people, we no poho nahting.

Fast-forward to da present. Within da past year or two I been seeing more and more chocolate-covered coffee beans popping up. And unlike chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, local people stay buying this for themselves to eat. I not sure who came out with this first. Get brands from Japan and da continent, as well as Hawaii brands too. Noticing how get so many brands, I wondered two things. Which brand tastes da best? And do any of them use actual Kona coffee beans, and does that make one difference?


All da chocolate-covered coffee beans


I decided for recruit Nicole Satsuma to assist me in da tasting for see if any local brand had da potential for one day become Hawaii's next omiyage candy of choice. After sampling all da ones I could find, it turned out that not all of da brands wuz created equal. Da cheaper brands kinda skimped on da bean and used more milk chocolate type chocolate.

Da best of da bunch turned out for be Big Island Candies' Dark Chocolate Kona Coffee Beans, which had da perfect dark chocolate-to-bean ratio and for $13.50 wuz da most expensive one too. We could both taste da difference in da premium quality of da ingredients. Nicole said, "The chocolate quality is definitely superior. It just melts in your mouth. And da quality of the coffee bean itself is better too." This made sense because of all da brands, this wuz da only one that used actual Kona coffee beans.

I asked Nicole if she thought this had chance for become da next chocolate-covered macadamia nut. She wuz hesitant, but she said, "I would give it to all my mainland friends cause it's a local gift and it promotes our Kona coffee industry."


Da winning bean


Da funny thing is that after we pau-ed our taste test, Nicole whispered, "I don't really care for coffee." I wuz all like, "Whaaaaat?!" I felt like slapping her in da head. Did this ruin my whole test?

When I thought about it, da fact is Nicole ate every single candy in our taste test and she even asked for more of da good one. And though Nicole wuz reluctant for vocally say that this would be bigger than chocolate-covered macadamia nuts one day, I think she endorsed it with her actions ... cuz she didn't just suck off da chocolate and hand me all her bean spittle. That means must be bettah than mac nuts, no?

P.S.  If this woman ever offers you A.B.C. gum. Say no.

Big Island Candies
Ala Moana Center
1450 Ala Moana Blvd.
585 Hinano St.