‘Hawaii Five-O’ Recap: ‘Ka Ho`oponopono’

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It’s been three weeks since the last new episode of “Hawaii Five-0,” and fans have been anxiously waiting for tonight’s show. What they got was a convoluted story about a beach party, an overdosed boyfriend, a sex tape scandal between a principal and a student, an entrepreneurial high school virus creator, a professional hit man and finally a construction injury trial. It was a storyline so headshakingly bad that by the time the main story was resolved, it was like the first half of the plot didn’t even matter. Let’s hope next week’s episode is better.

Here’s this week’s look at The Good, The Bad and The Weird.

The Good

  • “Why, was he a eunuch?” – McGarrett, after Westin claims that her parents liked her high school boyfriend.
  • The cell interceptor, a device that can apparently pick up the number being dialed by a cell phone hundreds of feet away. Jealous people suspicious of their mates cheating on them are already racing to Amazon to order one. (Darn! Out of stock already!)
  • “From the trunk” – Westin, after Danno asks her where she got the cell interceptor she just pulled out from the car trunk.
  • High school boy chased and assaulted by both Kono and Westin. I bet that guy didn’t even ask for a paycheck.

The Bad

  • McKinley High School standing in as a prep school called Ala Moana Academy. Really? That’s the best name they could think of? They must specialize in majoring in commerce.
  • I really wish the show would hire more locals in roles other than random criminal and comic relief.
  • Why is everyone wearing shoes in the house?
  • The principal defending his having sex with a student because the legal age is actually 16 in Hawaii is very uji.
  • Hawaii Five-0 rule #1 – the first guy in the 5-0 interrogation room is never the perp.
  • Hawaii Five-0 rule #2 – If you live in a mansion, you’re either a criminal or will get killed.
  • The bad guy hires a top hit man to kill a helpless high school girl by smothering her with a pillow? Seems a bit extreme doesn’t it?
  • Do the bad guys always have to wear black?

The Weird

  • The yakuza went through all that trouble harassing Joe White in a car chase on Lagoon Drive just to send him a scare? What, the head of a dead koi in his bed wouldn’t have done the same?
  • “Resist the urge to have sex in front of an open laptop” – Fong. Obviously he’s never been in a long distance relationship.
  • I guess being the state’s #1 jury selection consultant doesn’t pay that much. A better suit could have saved his life.